Convalescence: VI, I am not afraid

I AM afraid of you
at the end of the day, it's still you chasing after me. Followed by the guilt. Then the yearning. Then the softening. Then realising how much I don't need you, because of how toxic you are.

I am scared of you
"You shouldn't be scared of him, HE should be SCARED OF YOU!"
"Your friends are probably right"

I am
Very much
To the point, thinking of you touching me makes me shiver.
makes my lip quiver.
make my palms sweat and my eyes tear.

The nightmare.
I didn't even want you to touch me
Because I know when you do, it's not because you love me.
It was because you just needed some girl to touch.

Don't kill yourself
For I'll be the murderer
But don't come back anymore
Not even in my dreams
For I swear I would really end up killing you

I am scared of you
I am fucking scared
But fuck you

I deserve the best
And I will not let you determine my worth

For I am a force to be reckoned with
And you better be fucking scared of me

You better be

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